Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
