I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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