There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
