shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
