Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
