He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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