Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want to stick my p in your. b.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
