This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
