he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
