Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
