I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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