ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In other news, I just burned my penis
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
