This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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