I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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