yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
