How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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