Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we should paint friendship bongs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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