The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I love having hate sex.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
