remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
there is glitter all over my balls
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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