You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
