Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
