Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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