some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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