And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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