Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
