I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
false alarm, still single
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
