Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
