The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
