his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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