She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
