at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
