dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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