There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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