Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
even my farts smell like vagina
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
