I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
