so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
