yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You ruined the universe
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
