I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
