Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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