walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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