can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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