we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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