you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
