Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
