How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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