How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
