The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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