so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
