I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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