my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
