do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
